Blame Canada!

Dairy Queen, Subway, 7-eleven.....toto, are we back at home? Imagine a green version of west texas...that is the southern portion of Canada.
Except their funny accents....EH? EH?, I needs to talks to ya aboot somethin, eh?, ya, eh?.
And you want to know what they call cattle guards in these parts?
Texas gates. [The french have fries, we have gates.]
It cracked us up.....really. Texas Gate ahead. Dadada dadada....(that is the sound it makes when you drive over one).

We are on our way to Banff National Park.



Chris got word that one of his friends he met in Guatemala was working at a Ranch just outside the park. Why not stop in to say howdy?

The Ranch....the Dude Ranch. Hi Naomi. Bye Naomi. She was really busy...dudeing it up. Dude. [she was also wearing a hat. a cowboy hat. a dude hat. that was an odd shift in context...we spent four days on a sailboat together in honduras. dude.]

Our mission was to find a not so expensive crash pad for the night...got a little spoiled with all of my wonderful hommies hookin it up. Yeah, cheap and Banff National Park don't exactly get along...at all really. You have to pay day by day while in the park...again, we were spoiled with our American National Parks pass...great deal if you are cruising around. Chris managed to sweet talk the lovely young lady at the front desk of this very average hotel into giving us 10 looney's off (that is canadian for dollars...silly Canadians....they are a little looney...including you Carla!). I asked him how he did it.... “well” he says, “I just put on a little sweet southern accent....worked like a charm” (puke). But work it did. [i love the southern drawl. thanks mom.]

It is a bit like Glacier and yellowstone combined here....the mountains are rugged but a little more weathered. The lakes are gorgeous. Glaciers on the mountaintops. Similar to Patagonia in certain areas i would say. [really beautiful...it is like yellowstone in terms of quantity of tourists. instead of speaking russian and english, they were speaking french. i love french people.]



Then we went into the visitor information center to get the low down on hiking and camping in the area....and we met the other Chris.....the Ultimate Canadian Smart Ass. Oh I loved him dearly. We spent the next 20 minutes making fun of our little Chris....the highlight of my day. He gave us several tips on campsites to stay at and hikes to take....but after leaving the office, me and wee chris could not help but wonder if perhaps he was getting a laugh and sending us to overcrowded campsites and extreme hikes in the park....naaaa. [like the illustrious Mosquito Creek campground]

and off to Mosquito Creek campsite...yes....filled with mosquitoes. Maybe that was the joke.





Made a yummy eggplant pasta dinner and had a botella of vino ( they sell yellow tail wine there for 20 loonies.....a 5 dollar bottle of wine for 18 dollars......damn!) Our alcoholism might come to a halt here shortly....naaaa.
[the yellow tail wine is apparently sold there for the homesick Aussies...in the town of Banff, I would estimate that Aussies comprise of about 60% of the town's population.

Then Chris gave me salsa lessons... but I couldn't spin very well due to the wine... and everything was funnnnyyyy. We are preparing ourselves for Vancouver...apparently there is a big salsa community there....seems strange, but that is the word on the street. So chris is training me just incase there are not any cute little latin lovers there....always the wing woman. [cori is getting the hang of it fast, thank god for all those years of cheerleading camp, thanks mom.] ((I hate him)) [[loves it]]

And on the third day, the creator said let it rain........rain rain...rain. rain. rain. rain, rain. So our glorious plans of a 5 hour hike were, well, soaked. And I was so looking forward to owning Chris on another trek! Next time.

Drove over to Lake Morraine because Chris kept telling me how beautiful this one vantage point was (he has been here before). We get to the entrance and it is all roped off ....closed for maintenance. Darn. ((Then these 2 older women came up and hopped the fence....they said a young lady at the camp said it was fine....just to watch out for the helicopter dropping rocks on the site....ummm, okay)) So we hopped the fence. Just to catch a glimpse....just one peek....and 3 photos, and “Hey, EH.., you guys cant be here....the trail is closed Eh, ya, Eh...ya.” Busted. Criminals. But worth every shameful feeling afterwards....it really was the best view....glacial water is just so darn cool, or freezing. Did you know that it is so blue because of the silt particles collected by the glacier? Yep. thats why.
Good thing we missed the helicopter that was dropping rocks on the site!



We decided to be lame and go back into town for the remainder of the day. I will just blame that on chris, or Canada. Rain Rain, go away.

It didn't. but stopped just long enough for us to break down the tent the next morning and throw it in the car so that we could try our luck in Jasper. Hey, guess what we saw? Rain.
And some, for lack of a better word.....dumb-asses on the side of the road, out of their cars, taking pictures of bears....really guys? Really? Bears. [when she says taking pictures of bears, she means, people taking pictures of bears from the incredible safe distance of about 8 feet. Just enough space to ensure that the bear could rip out their entrails in .5 seconds.]

We stopped at the Columbia Ice Fields for a little, or really big rather, bus ride thingy up onto the glacier. Yep...it was a Glacier. Ice, ice baby... Dirty ice, ice baby. And I thought it would be really cool to drink some glacier water...it was delicious, but gave me a bit of a belly ache later that day.










Saw mamma moose and baby moose. They are so funny looking. Dopy or something.
And there was a Rave-in party. Get it, a raven party. like a bird rave...they were all partying on the side of the road. Oh, and we saw this pooper sucker truck...you know, the ones that suck out all of the poo from the porta-potties....and it had a picture of Poo Bear on the side....what a sense of humor!

When in Jasper, do stay at the Athabaska hotel, but whatever you do, do NOT eat at the Dead Dog Pub.[and accused of being a liar by the manager] You might just get charged for a burger that you didn't order (and what burger is worth $15 anyways...I dont care if it is composed of elk, bison, and deer....with wasabi sauce.....really? now i likes me some wasabi on fish, but on my burger....gross)...what did sushi A say to sushi B? Whatsaaa up B...wasabi..get it? [jokes like these comprise my daily existence now.]



[Back to the story at hand,] you just might tell the waitress that she made a mistake, that you ordered the bison burger, not the trifecta wasabi burger....”well, you ate it didnt you?”...uh, yes, but we didn't know it was the wrong one...wild game tastes like wild game, right?
“yes, but we didn't order it....so we don't really want to pay twice the price thanks.”
Let me take it up with the manager she says....okee dokee.
Manager walks over: “So you ordered the triple dipple?” [that is cori for big game burger]
chris: “NO, we ordered the bison burger, I think it was just all a misunderstanding since we had asked her about the triple dingle.” [again, big game burger]
manager: “So, are you calling the waitress a liar then? (huffy) [very angry] she said she was sure you ordered the triple dingy.”
chris: (awkward) “uuuhh...no, I think she just misunderstood.”
manager: “well fine then, she will just pay for it”
[wow, i have never been put in that situation before....the burger was even bad!]

Damn Gina.....that is what i call service with a smile! And we were under the impression that all Canadians were kind, gentle folk. Not so, just not so.....or maybe somebody just needed a little somethin somethin, if ya know what im saying.

[The next morning we exited the park with a happy belly full of tasty omelet that washed that burger right out of our systems]

Glaciation in Glacier

Glacier National Park.

ground squirrels. check
marmot. check
little black bear. check
mountain goats. check. check.
does a bear shit in the woods. check. check. check. (and on the trail)

[all the above were alive....these ones at the lodge, however....]




We headed straight for Jammer Joes pizza where my buddy Devin cooks up some mean slabs of dough.
He let us crash in his staff room at the park. It was very interesting to get a glimpse of the life of a staff worker in a national park. Somehow I always manage to be where Devin is....we met in Hawaii, then he hosted me in Portland for a few days, and now in Glacier Nat Park! Thanks Dev, and I swear, Im not stalking you!

[heh, i am.]









Thank you sooo much for the stay....sorry we could not hang longer!



Our drive north through the park was awe – some. as in awe – inspiringly fantastic. It is raw, it is misty, and it is not as damn touristy as yellowstone! praise the lord!

We stopped at a lookout and saw about 6 mountain goats right up close....and wee little goat babies. [mmm. baby goat.]







awwww....nothing cuter than animal babies...maybe if human babies were all hairy they would actually be kinda cute....naaaa.
And then came the Marmot. soooo funny that guy. he was eating up attention.....i got a funny shot of him munchin down. MMMMMarmot. say it....marmot.

[dude. cori's shot rules]






then came little black bear....at our campsite, Many Glacier. yikes, but cute at the same time. he was just bouncing around playing. silly little bear bear.
I convinced Chris to do the Iceberg lake hike....no big deal...a 10 mile-er....the couple that finished as we embarked said it took them just under 4 hours to complete. Nice.


Unless you are Chris. In jeans. poor poor Chris. he almost died [coffee. shaking.] i think....someone was NOT a happy camper. and it was not me. [pleeeeeeease.....after one apple for food all day, this man machine needed a bit more fuel to be responsive, i'm like a ferrari baby.] (and he thinks he is going to walk the camino de santiago....good luck bud!). But we made it....and it was fantastic. I was a little concerned when we were half way and a guy coming back down said that he just saw a grizzly...but not to worry, it was just minding its own bees wax up the mountainside. Ok, hum. I had a tight grip on my bear spray the rest of the trek. You see, I decided it was best that I carry the bear spray and make chris walk ahead of me.....what, it seems completely reasonable....Chris gets attacked, then I spray bear....spray spray spray. and then run like hell. See....I'm a thinker. [um. yeah.....]

The hike was stunning. Soooo many little mary poppins crazy white flowers everywhere. and the lake at the end was a beautiful ice-berg filled masterpiece. I dared Chris to strip down and jump in for $1,000. He didn't do it....good thing, I would not have paid.

(ally-g and some fun guy took a likin' to each other.....get it? algae and fungus = lichen) [that was her joke. she also knows the words to once bitten, twice shy folks. yay bar in jasper, canada that is stuck in 1983. love. it. now onto the pics]






[trees galore on hike]




[Lake on the way to the lake....]



[ok pic of iceberg lake....wish it was better but it was much cooler in person...]




So go to Glacier....it is really worthwhile.

Yellow, Yellow, YellowStone

We cruised in late afternoon....our first night of camping! yeah! I was excited...chris not so much, and when I said, “great lets set up my wee tent”.... he says, “no, lets set up your dad's big ass tent”.... “but we decided not to bring that one remember?”.... “oh, but we did....it somehow 'snuck' in”.... “oh really?...'snuck' in huh? ....hum.” [i totally threw it in. her dad approved with a smile when i did it too] Not only is he my dad's height, but he acts like him as well....

So we set up my dad's big ass tent...its well, big and awkward, and of course i had to set it up since chris is a bit, well, lets just say, city. [yep]
It was embarrassing dad....that is all i have to say....embarrassing....but spacious....who knows, maybe it is like the Yukon....we hate the idea of it, but damn is it nice! [i streched out with joy under the cavernous hotel that was the cabelas portable lodge, yep, the tent name is “the lodge”.]
none the less...we will be using the wee tent from now on. [which is comfy, but no lodge...more like a motor inn]

And then we saw Ol Dirty [for those not in the know, Ol' Dirty is Ol' Faithful] spew it up....it was well, a bit anticlimactic, but worthwhile.



And after fighting the crowd to get back to the car, we set off to the prismatic springs. That was cool. We got some good shots in just as the sun was setting. Chris gave a photography lesson to these 2 cute Indian men....all in all it turned out to be a 2 hour venture around the boardwalk,......boardwalk.

[Dr. From South India]



[Prismatic Springs]









Buffalo, Elk, and Deer, oh my. And when I say Buffalo, I mean a herd of them. wooly mammoths.






[A Drive back to the tent]





After a restful night in the tent for Chris....you see, at this point I am still not fully desensitized to the plethora of noises that come from deep within this beast (chris) [or the paranoia of bear attacks] as he catches a little shut eye......I made some rocket fuel to power us through our day of driving through yellowstone, because I was freaking exhausted.
More buffalo, but what we saw most was The Tourist. There were short ones, small ones, tall ones, really really fat ones, and even a few skinny ones. They spoke German, French, Americana, Texan, Russian, you name it, it was there! [russian oil money must be flowing these days, there were tons of russians in the park, really odd...cori wants to lasso up one of those ruskies]
So if you ever want to see these crazy creatures up close, I suggest YellowStone National Park....home of The Tourists.
It was nice though, the great American roadtrip....pack up the kiddos and head to Yellowstone.
We had to explain this to some French backpackers that we met at a hostel that night. Think of YellowStone as the cultural experience of America....don't necessarily go there thinking that you are just going to see lots of beautiful nature, you are going to see the good, bad and ugly of Americans....because they are all there.

[Out of the park - Regrowth after a fire]



Bozeman, Montana Hostel, you Rock! A really nice huge old home converted into a nice little owned by a really nice Aussie. [5 points to cori for that call, cheap, nice, clean, friendly place to stay] We decided to hit up one of the local dive bars....full of interesting 21 year olds with their semi-eclectic outdoorsy grunge vibes rockin the house. Montana is a gambling town....it was strange to see a bar full of young-ens playing blackjack and such games....I guess i am just use to the old lady with her ciggy hanging out her mouth crankin the slot machines vibe.
Or my mom playing wheel of fortune screaming....come on baby, come on.

And as we left the bar we got our first sense of hostility, or perhaps it was humor.....a young man yelled “steers and queers” when we drove off. funny boy. [srsly, so 80's although, it is fun to live up to the stereotype...we've been occasionally adding the accents to dramatize our travels. and to accessorize our gas guzzling beast of a truck]
maybe we should get a bumper sticker that says that.....that would be funny. “Don't mess with Texas...its full of steers and queers.” I like it.

then we ate buffalo. had to do it. and yum. i had buffalo chile, and chris a giant buffalo burger. yum.
a day of nothingness was in high demand, so we went out and got us some.
and off to bed at a decent hour, not that we have been staying up until dawn, but dang, it does not get dark until around 10pm in these parts....our sense of time is wayyy off....cant wait for Alaska!
We woke to rustling bags at 5:30am....oh how i love dorm room hostels...they are truly the best. [i blame ireland, this time.]
Finally set off at around 11:30...which is pretty much record for the two of us.
Stopped at a diner in Avon, Montana because the hostel owner said their Huckleberry shakes were amazing. I think my favorite thing about montana is that they have boot glasses. We split a Huckleberry shake in a boot glass....I think I will have to go back just to get me one!
Then a man in the restaurant was saying how he really wants to go and visit New Zealand...me and chris started laughing because the area surrounding us looks a hellofa lot like Kiwi land. You are already there buddy!
Oh, and the women's restroom was awesome.....they had 2 toilets side by side without a divide between the two. I guess so you can high five your neighbor when they get their “duty” done. ha.
high five.

Then I made chris eat corned beef hash. He LOVED it. [v.o.m.i.t.] Said if he could only have one thing in life, it would be corned beef hash atop a toasted english muffin absolutely filled with butter....ummmm. [v.o.m.i.t.]
I know....you are just trying all kinds of new and wonderful things with me chris!

a wild horse chase......and we caught those buggers.

Its a bit difficult to remember yesterday, much less 9 days ago, but here it goes...


Flatter and flatter the landscape becomes. On our way to Jackson, Wyoming. Hunger drives us right into Rock Springs for a bite....and as i am chowing down, I notice Chris staring at the table behind me....he has technology envy. The guy at the next table is using photoshop on his computer...chris has been trying to get it. And then we inquire about the awesome pictures of horses this guy is editing. He says, “yeah, there are some wild horses out in these parts.....you just have to drive down this one dirt road and you may or may not see some.” Done and done....we hopped in the car for our Wild Horse Chase.

[Gassing up for the Wild Horse Chase]




One wrong dirt road turn later, and we were hot on their heels....and I saw a badger butt...for real.
Driving, driving, driving on the little dirt road.....[45 mins of nothing but inspiring vistas and rain droplets] “Okay chris...I think we should go back....we have to make it to Jackson before nightfall.”





“Okay, if we dont see any just over this next ridge, lets turn back,” he says.
And vuala....there they were. Just a hangin. Wild, wild horses....come to take me away.....
We snuck up pretty close to get some pho-toe-ma-jo's ....they didn't seem to mind. [it was awesome! about nine scattered over the plains, eating, grooming, and staring at us as we approached]





So that was our big event of the day...and we thought it would be the only spectacular thing that we encountered....and then ka-bam....the earth drastically plunges up up and away...all sprinkled with this crazy white powder stuff...i think its called snow? It was really something...Grandadda Teton...your cool...a little too cool for my liking, but nice to look at anyhow.

So that must be the last spectacularism of the day...right? there cant possibly be more....oh yes there can my dear.....

We arrived at my buddy Steve's house and he was a cookin, as Steve does....[Dude Steve is the man. One whif and I was in love.]
“Is beer-can chicken okay with you guys? With roasted potatoes and salad?” he says upon arrival.....uh, yeah......delicioso!....A bottle of Prosecco, a bottle of wine, lots of hugs, and a full, full belly later he says...“Let me show you to your room with bunk beds, and here are 2 towels for you guys.” [This cabin is a dream cabin, minus the garden eating Clydesdale next door]
I love you Steve!!!!! The host with the most.....so when in Jackson, Wyoming, I suggest The Steve B&B...there is nothin like those Laotian ginger eggs steveo!

[Steve!]



We were then later introduced to Steve's 2 ladies....Sarah and miss Lucy (one of the coolest dogs ever).
And we were slowly realizing why Steve has not left Jackson. It is a beautiful, fun area...somewhere you would want to settle. Steve and Sarah continued to show us a good time for the next few days...
a tram ride to the top of the Tetons, a fancy dinner ( I ate bone marrow....ummmm, and lots and lots of pig....there was bacon with wild cherries, wild boar wrapped in bacon with bacon drippings...i thought chris was going to have a heart attack...especially when he tried the bone marrow....he gave me the rest of his...not a fan apparently). Oh, and we had fried doughnuts for dessert with 3 toppings...yeah, i gained like 3 pounds in the one night. [we were working out well up until that day...mmm worth it.]

[Tram Mania..must have been the altitude]












[The big reveal]



We all celebrated the 4th together...another delicious food extravaganza! Steve and Sarah's friends Matty and Mercedee had a party...and everyone was invited....at least all of the dogs in town showed up! Dang! We drove over to Victor, Idaho, (who da hoe, I da hoe) where they live, and went to a little swaree [soiree] at the Knotty Pine pub. Drove all the way to Idaho to see a dude from Austin get down on the gui-tar.
Awesome. Papa Mali.

[bbq day]



[Cat and her horse!]



[Cori n Steve]



[Mercedee]



[Fire Monster!]





The next morning we had the famed huckleberry shake at a local dive....freakin yummmy!
I'll be your huckleberry....[my step-dad Skip told us of this shake way back in Colorado Springs...and yes Skip, it is that good!]

So basically, Jackson and the vicinity = good food and great people.
Thanks again guys! [Seriously, your hospitality and good vibes are the stuff of legend! Keep in touch so i can repay the favor sometime]

long sleeves.....and a jacket!!!!

so moving right along...right along to Steamboat Springs, CO.


Rocky Mountain National Park, you are amazing. Since my head was still a little foggy, everything seemed a little surreal, especially when we rounded the bend and shazam.....hello moun-tains...(say that in an Al Pachino, Scarface kind of voice). Snowcapped peaks abound. I really could not think of anything better than listening to the soft melodies of Paul Simon and driving around, mesmerized by these spectacular views. And lets not forget my fav....the quaking aspens...how i love thee.



We reached the tundra zone (12,200 ft) and got out for a little hike....hello Mr. Elk....and your 12 brothers, and 40 sisters bouncing in the snow. Eat your heart out dad....I told you to come! They were massively fantastic. and there were these beautiful teeny tiny blue flowers everywhere....okay, i have a bit of a flora fetish...



After passing through the park, the mountains behind us, we were still fully impressed by the landscapes around us. Different, but equally as gorgeous. Green green, flat plateaus completely sprayed with wildflowers....so beautiful that we of course stop for photos....and then realize that the mosquitoes in these parts don't f#@% around! Holy moly. guacamole. vodka, make it a Stoli.






And it was hotel time....Fairfield, you really do have damn fine mattress pads....now i dont want to know all of the events that have taken place on these mattress pads, but they provided us with a restful nights sleep....after 3 beers at the OTP downtown.....oh yeah, when the house is a rockin, don't bother knockin! they had a fantastic funkadellic band playing and chris kicked my booty at pool again...
now my mission in life is to Beat Him Down with a Stick! [When you can snatch the pebble from my hand, grasshopper]

Long Sleeves and a Jacket.........yeah baby. Feel it.

Bouldering

Now we are on our way to meet up with the fabulous woman who spawned chris. Fun.


......and a fabulous woman she is indeed....she stole my heart when she pulled out a tiny bottle of olive oil from her purse (since they didn't have any at the restaurant)...I love eating healthfully.
We went to the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs and took a gander at the kissing camels.



After a fantastic dinner topped off with blackberry cobbler and helado galore (what, blackberries are healthy), [Day One of non-responsible eating! Yay!] we trotted on up to Boulder to meet my friend Jen.
....but right outside of town we were awe struck by the 3 rainbows and indescribable sky that was reeling us in.....we must have spent 30 minutes taking photos on the side of the road...of course Chris's are better than mine, but it is only because of his camera...only....and maybe the 4 years he spent in photography school might have sooomething to do with it, maybe. [She says she wrote the sooooooomething like that on purpose. Man, what kind of perfectionist are you?]









Regardless, it was probably one of the most amazing skyward events i have seen in a while, or ever.

Boulder, we have arrived.
Jen graciously welcomed us into her home after not having seen me in 2+ years.

Interjection:
So me and Jen met in a treehouse in the middle of the jungle in Laos....some of you may remember that story....when I was traveling with my friend Steve and we went on the Gibbon experience tour and zip-lined into tree-houses, [for those of you who don't know, the Gibbon Experience and associated treehouses are in the middle of nowhere Laos. I mean, you have to zip line into your accomodations, from the forest canopy!] and our treehouse randomly had the only 2 other americans in all of Lao....Jen and Jason...who had also both been traveling independently and met in Thailand, just like me and Steve. So there we were, 4 independent traveling americans all somehow vortexed into this little treehouse in one of the coolest countries ever....we wont go into the bus ride that followed where me and Jen held hands for an hour fearing that this was really THE END....(this will all be relevant soon)

What was so crazy was that Jason was also from Texas, and had also gone to UT, and after asking me where i was from in Texas, he said, oh, my roommate was from there...do you know Amy Sangavi....of course I did, we graduated together. So that was super crazy for me and made me realize what a small world it really is, or just what a small population of americans travel, and this one happened to know a girl that i went to high school with.......

Continuation:
So Chris, Jen and I all crashed pretty early that night in Boulder, and the next morning Jen was off studying for one of those silly exams you have to take to practice law,.....and to continue on or work-out regime, me and Christof went on a little run along the river (it is like town lake but a hell of a lot cooler....literally) [um, 30 minutes i'm still breathing heavy.] . Then somehow we were sucked into the black hole of Target and REI....i do have to say that that was the quickest i have ever been in and out of those places! Now I am complete with stainless steel travel mug and water bottle....praise the lord.

Impressions of Boulder....perfect...a little too perfect....clean, really well developed, but lacking in diversity.....that granny on her bike was precious though!

Jen FINALLY finished studying for the day and invited me and chris out for dinner and drinks with some of her law school buds. We had some yummy tapas and a few beers and a lot of reminiscing of past travels and future endeavors. It was then off to the bars....and the night concluded with polish ska, creepy guy sitting near me at the bar that apparently was undressing me with his eyes (i was oblivious, but Jen and Chris got a real kick out of it) [and practicing his moves, in his chair, without saying a word. he was hot. hot like the summer sun of austin] and the realization that cori, altitude, and alcohol don't mix too well, or really well depending on how you look at it I guess. basically, beer and altitude make cori and chris very drunk people. And here is what chris does when he is inebriated.....he takes really random photos of, well, kitchens and handles and things...





The next morning we made a little breakfast and had a little chat about law and developing countries, and Chris said, you know, I should put you in touch with my good friend up in new york who just started an investment firm for developing countries, Jason Spindler. Me and Jen looked at one another, and back at Chris.....who?
It can't be.....Jason who? And OH MY FREAKING SWEET JESUS.....Chris knows Jason from the treehouse in Lao....our Jason.
And things come full circle. apparently he grew up with him in Houston....town of 7 gazillion. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? S E R I O U S L Y?
Seriously.
[I even went to his bar mitzvah. hip hop and dance crew for the after party. so 1990.]
Yes, now you can begin to play the annoying song....its a small world after all.....over and over in your head. Wow. some things are just meant to be i guess....