Except their funny accents....EH? EH?, I needs to talks to ya aboot somethin, eh?, ya, eh?.
And you want to know what they call cattle guards in these parts?
Texas gates. [The french have fries, we have gates.]
It cracked us up.....really. Texas Gate ahead. Dadada dadada....(that is the sound it makes when you drive over one).
We are on our way to Banff National Park.
Chris got word that one of his friends he met in Guatemala was working at a Ranch just outside the park. Why not stop in to say howdy?
The Ranch....the Dude Ranch. Hi Naomi. Bye Naomi. She was really busy...dudeing it up. Dude. [she was also wearing a hat. a cowboy hat. a dude hat. that was an odd shift in context...we spent four days on a sailboat together in honduras. dude.]
Our mission was to find a not so expensive crash pad for the night...got a little spoiled with all of my wonderful hommies hookin it up. Yeah, cheap and Banff National Park don't exactly get along...at all really. You have to pay day by day while in the park...again, we were spoiled with our American National Parks pass...great deal if you are cruising around. Chris managed to sweet talk the lovely young lady at the front desk of this very average hotel into giving us 10 looney's off (that is canadian for dollars...silly Canadians....they are a little looney...including you Carla!). I asked him how he did it.... “well” he says, “I just put on a little sweet southern accent....worked like a charm” (puke). But work it did. [i love the southern drawl. thanks mom.]
It is a bit like Glacier and yellowstone combined here....the mountains are rugged but a little more weathered. The lakes are gorgeous. Glaciers on the mountaintops. Similar to Patagonia in certain areas i would say. [really beautiful...it is like yellowstone in terms of quantity of tourists. instead of speaking russian and english, they were speaking french. i love french people.]
Then we went into the visitor information center to get the low down on hiking and camping in the area....and we met the other Chris.....the Ultimate Canadian Smart Ass. Oh I loved him dearly. We spent the next 20 minutes making fun of our little Chris....the highlight of my day. He gave us several tips on campsites to stay at and hikes to take....but after leaving the office, me and wee chris could not help but wonder if perhaps he was getting a laugh and sending us to overcrowded campsites and extreme hikes in the park....naaaa. [like the illustrious Mosquito Creek campground]
and off to Mosquito Creek campsite...yes....filled with mosquitoes. Maybe that was the joke.
Made a yummy eggplant pasta dinner and had a botella of vino ( they sell yellow tail wine there for 20 loonies.....a 5 dollar bottle of wine for 18 dollars......damn!) Our alcoholism might come to a halt here shortly....naaaa.
[the yellow tail wine is apparently sold there for the homesick Aussies...in the town of Banff, I would estimate that Aussies comprise of about 60% of the town's population.
Then Chris gave me salsa lessons... but I couldn't spin very well due to the wine... and everything was funnnnyyyy. We are preparing ourselves for Vancouver...apparently there is a big salsa community there....seems strange, but that is the word on the street. So chris is training me just incase there are not any cute little latin lovers there....always the wing woman. [cori is getting the hang of it fast, thank god for all those years of cheerleading camp, thanks mom.] ((I hate him)) [[loves it]]
And on the third day, the creator said let it rain........rain rain...rain. rain. rain. rain, rain. So our glorious plans of a 5 hour hike were, well, soaked. And I was so looking forward to owning Chris on another trek! Next time.
Drove over to Lake Morraine because Chris kept telling me how beautiful this one vantage point was (he has been here before). We get to the entrance and it is all roped off ....closed for maintenance. Darn. ((Then these 2 older women came up and hopped the fence....they said a young lady at the camp said it was fine....just to watch out for the helicopter dropping rocks on the site....ummm, okay)) So we hopped the fence. Just to catch a glimpse....just one peek....and 3 photos, and “Hey, EH.., you guys cant be here....the trail is closed Eh, ya, Eh...ya.” Busted. Criminals. But worth every shameful feeling afterwards....it really was the best view....glacial water is just so darn cool, or freezing. Did you know that it is so blue because of the silt particles collected by the glacier? Yep. thats why.
Good thing we missed the helicopter that was dropping rocks on the site!
We decided to be lame and go back into town for the remainder of the day. I will just blame that on chris, or Canada. Rain Rain, go away.
It didn't. but stopped just long enough for us to break down the tent the next morning and throw it in the car so that we could try our luck in Jasper. Hey, guess what we saw? Rain.
And some, for lack of a better word.....dumb-asses on the side of the road, out of their cars, taking pictures of bears....really guys? Really? Bears. [when she says taking pictures of bears, she means, people taking pictures of bears from the incredible safe distance of about 8 feet. Just enough space to ensure that the bear could rip out their entrails in .5 seconds.]
We stopped at the Columbia Ice Fields for a little, or really big rather, bus ride thingy up onto the glacier. Yep...it was a Glacier. Ice, ice baby... Dirty ice, ice baby. And I thought it would be really cool to drink some glacier water...it was delicious, but gave me a bit of a belly ache later that day.
Saw mamma moose and baby moose. They are so funny looking. Dopy or something.
And there was a Rave-in party. Get it, a raven party. like a bird rave...they were all partying on the side of the road. Oh, and we saw this pooper sucker truck...you know, the ones that suck out all of the poo from the porta-potties....and it had a picture of Poo Bear on the side....what a sense of humor!
When in Jasper, do stay at the Athabaska hotel, but whatever you do, do NOT eat at the Dead Dog Pub.[and accused of being a liar by the manager] You might just get charged for a burger that you didn't order (and what burger is worth $15 anyways...I dont care if it is composed of elk, bison, and deer....with wasabi sauce.....really? now i likes me some wasabi on fish, but on my burger....gross)...what did sushi A say to sushi B? Whatsaaa up B...wasabi..get it? [jokes like these comprise my daily existence now.]
[Back to the story at hand,] you just might tell the waitress that she made a mistake, that you ordered the bison burger, not the trifecta wasabi burger....”well, you ate it didnt you?”...uh, yes, but we didn't know it was the wrong one...wild game tastes like wild game, right?
“yes, but we didn't order it....so we don't really want to pay twice the price thanks.”
Let me take it up with the manager she says....okee dokee.
Manager walks over: “So you ordered the triple dipple?” [that is cori for big game burger]
chris: “NO, we ordered the bison burger, I think it was just all a misunderstanding since we had asked her about the triple dingle.” [again, big game burger]
manager: “So, are you calling the waitress a liar then? (huffy) [very angry] she said she was sure you ordered the triple dingy.”
chris: (awkward) “uuuhh...no, I think she just misunderstood.”
manager: “well fine then, she will just pay for it”
[wow, i have never been put in that situation before....the burger was even bad!]
Damn Gina.....that is what i call service with a smile! And we were under the impression that all Canadians were kind, gentle folk. Not so, just not so.....or maybe somebody just needed a little somethin somethin, if ya know what im saying.
[The next morning we exited the park with a happy belly full of tasty omelet that washed that burger right out of our systems]
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